https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem daily 0.75 2026-01-24 https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/underestimated-feminist-popcorn-movies-of-the-1980s monthly 0.5 2026-01-24 https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/la-hulda monthly 0.5 2025-01-18 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1663292205353-FULE8IZHEXBYXQ0ZODYR/Witch+Going+to+the+Sabbath+1957+Remedios+Varo.jpeg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - La Hulda - Witch Going to the Sabbath (1957) by Remedios Varo. Witch Going to the Sabbath (1957) by Remedios Varo. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/32a5a90a-3724-4d41-93fb-cd0581d1333c/Remedios+Varo+y+la+ma%CC%81scara%2C+1956+by+Kati+Horna.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - La Hulda - Make it stand out Remedios Varo y la máscara (1956) by Kati Horna https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1734980721187-5OHTQ2J38FDODE2P7Q1J/20241217_155041.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - La Hulda https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1734980717512-BQ5YV8TNY56FRTPQMWUH/20241217_155122.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - La Hulda https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1734980726715-DJC9GHPXEV79C8GWAVJ7/20241217_155140.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - La Hulda https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1734980733613-Q8DHTA84HN5W43GRH7U5/20241217_155528.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - La Hulda https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/b6e764ab-1881-48af-80be-018574feaf92/Gato+hombre+1954+by+R+Varo.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - La Hulda - Make it stand out Gato hombre (1943) by Remedios Varo https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/78c1e262-037d-49ac-ac68-7f1061cab59e/20241218_135909.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - La Hulda - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1734998226438-W9CP3F6PSCMDSMBH7FQB/Wall+o+Varo.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - La Hulda - A wall of Varo https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1734998481741-AQDZPF8I6H1HE1XCFHZT/Carousel%2Bby%2BVaro.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - La Hulda - Roulotte (Carricoche), 1955 by Varo https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1734998683602-3F1NJFZRUFQLYYKC7870/The%2BEscape%2Bby%2BVaro.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - La Hulda - La Hulda (The escape), 1955 by Varo https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1734998795884-5ZY9HACADDX690C7DYR2/Vagabundo%2Bby%2BVaro.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - La Hulda - Vagabundo, 1957 by Varo https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/planet-of-sound monthly 0.5 2024-10-18 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/8951fb9e-493a-4409-ac43-bff4d2811dc8/Sparkly+dress+with+cigars%2C+1990s.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - Planet of Sound - My weird job is dealing blackjack. This company places blackjack tables, manned by coeds in white blouses and black skirts, in a wide variety of bars, clubs, and restaurants in the Tampa Bay Area. Like 40s, gambling is not legal in Florida. We get around this by selling our patrons chips to play with, which they gamble away or give back at the end of the night. When I first start doing this job, we are able to give vouchers to customers who want to walk away while they are still in the black, so that they can cash them in for chips to pay again at one of our tables at a future date, but then the lawyers decide that this counts as gambling. https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/here-comes-your-man monthly 0.5 2024-10-18 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/f5d249ef-6962-4a54-87b7-24f520c3801f/high+school+yearbook.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - Here Comes Your Man - At this point, the only things that define me are: Being bullied by my classmates, my erstwhile friends, and my stepfather. A strange sense of fashion (my attempts at replicating looks from Vogue and Star Hits with what I can afford from Greenwich Village secondhand stores and LI department stores, and what I can find in my mother’s closet) that doesn't help with the above at all. A best friend named Kristina, who does. A steady diet of books and movies, which also does. A radio station called WDRE, previously WLIR, which plays weird music, mostly but not entirely from the UK, and which kids all over Long Island wear buttons for on their long black wool coats, giving each other nods of recognition at multiplexes and malls. https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/parasocial-pistol monthly 0.5 2024-09-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/4dcc9617-52da-4e1d-bbe3-1a6ad7d7c408/Screenshot+2024-09-27+at+2.53.57+PM.png "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - Parasocial Pistol - The transition from little kid to music nerd is pretty visible here, with the unplugged Show ‘N Tell shelved beneath the new turntable. The transition from kid stuff to music nerd is visible here, in the unplugged Show & Tell shelved below the new turntable. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/4f51c86d-929f-4796-a170-7985a0bf9df9/Screen+Shot+2020-09-15+at+11.38.56+AM.png "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - Parasocial Pistol Presented without comment. https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/i-am-president-fleabag-and-i-won-both-the-popular-and-electoral-college-votes-but-still-the-white-house-staff-gives-me-no-respect-or-resources monthly 0.5 2024-09-16 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/3ec9ff68-a2a5-4cbb-93d1-aa8947ad8cc4/IMG_20230514_101912_384+copy+2.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - I am President Fleabag - Make it stand out On 8/9/24 we said goodbye to our 16-year-old dog, Lord Henry Humongous. He shows up in a few dreams below, as do Nick Cave and Leonard Cohen, to comfort me. https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/a-reckoning monthly 0.5 2024-02-04 https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/dear-fern monthly 0.5 2024-01-21 https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/gentlemen monthly 0.5 2024-01-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/a99c4d93-5255-493a-bb50-fc516a19fc70/20230710_163932.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - Gentlemen My dog is a handsome terrier mix with a cowlike black-and-white pattern that I often refer to as a “statement neutral.” So, when it came time to pick out colors for the first pack of penis belts, I chose the combination titled “Gentleman”: one black, one grassy green, and one cobalt. These are good colors for Henry. Also, his full name is Lord Henry Humongous of Hoppers (with the sometimes, lately, added appellation of “The Ancient One”) so obviously he is a gentleman. Even though he’s actually a cranky terrorist who pees inside and doesn’t make dog friends easily. He’s always seemed like a Robert Mitchum type to us — a cool customer with an honor code guiding his mean streak — so, not exactly a gentleman. But maybe not exactly not one. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1703873738884-7R80JLWF8UKQL6BJB98K/20231229_100531.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - Gentlemen https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1703873739086-5ZGGEN8SEEBR6LJLNC3X/20231229_100447.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - Gentlemen https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1703873740466-WVNARIOJLSGW9BI3ZXS1/20231229_100524.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - Gentlemen https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/title-tk monthly 0.5 2024-09-16 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/6a917ae0-5e76-41ce-bdd6-9590d6e80f21/Remedios+Varo+Pepilla+Estelar.jpeg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - I'm in training, but for what? - Left: Papilla Estelar (1958) by Remedios Varo Some of those, eight months later, I can still remember more about. I know who the someone was who wasn’t dead during Bean’s and my tropical vacation the night of June 23. There is more to “I love them both and it’s great,” and it is better left in the dream world so I can refer to it slyly. Much of the first few months’ dreams, though, are pretty tethered to reality; the TV shows I watch, my office, coffee, a music festival, anxiety. And clearly these are not titles like Tristy’s (Except maybe Pete Davidson Is the Bad Prince.) Some of them felt like short stories to me. Some of them were just all I could remember. https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/it-is-better-to-light-a-candle-than-to-curse-the-darkness-two-doors-and-a-window-part-6 monthly 0.5 2023-12-23 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/d7cf1d7c-ad41-44b0-9f2d-4297a5be6e27/Yahrtzeit.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - It Is Better to Light a Candle Than to Curse the Darkness (Two Doors and a Window, Part 6) Lighting a candle to remember those I’ve lost, and in lieu of cursing the darkness. https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/remember-who-you-are-two-doors-and-a-window-part-5 monthly 0.5 2023-02-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/a79e142a-3c0c-4536-8197-0d0eb6ffd98c/20150111_112154.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - Remember Who You Are (Two Doors and a Window, Part 5) - Make it stand out I’d been in Oakland more than 10 years when this was taken., Still didn’t like to talk shit about Florida. https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/did-that-go-through-the-three-doors-two-doors-and-a-window-part-4 monthly 0.5 2023-02-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1663442782880-CUUYCDS5SC2N3VBE83VS/11882_10201724561572191_1507989724_n.jpeg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - Did That Go Through the Three Doors? (Two Doors and a Window, Part 4) My mother cried and waved as the bus pulled away. I settled in to read Judy Blume. But I would have been crying, too, had I known what awaited me. I was a bullied kid in school. Things were no different at camp. Thinking about it now, it’s no surprise: I was bookish and scrawny with no hand-eye coordination, and if you think it’s fucked up to send a nine-year-old away for two months, think about the psyches of the girls in my bunk, the ones who were in their second or third summers. Not to mention that they all knew each other already. Cruel shenanigans ensued: Maxi pads with red nail polish on my pillow, tube tops pulled down in public. I did have some good times that summer. I played Anita in West Side Story — probably just as fucked up for a nine-year-old as two months away from home under the not-so-watchful eye of stoned teenagers — and made a couple of friends. But when Visiting Day came around, I had already written a dozen teary letters begging to be taken home. Halfway through the summer, I was ready so see my mommy. https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/shma-yisrael-adonai-eloheinu-adonai-ehad-two-doors-and-a-window-part-3 monthly 0.5 2024-12-23 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1663291779088-XH8R3XPGRAM66726CZ9A/Witch%2BGoing%2Bto%2Bthe%2BSabbath%2B1957%2BRemedios%2BVaro.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - Sh'ma Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Ehad (Two Doors and a Window Part 3) - I had gone down to South Florida from Tampa for a Passover seder just a week or two before she passed. She was supposed to be there, at home, but was in the hospital instead. Meryl had been sick with cancer on and off for many years at that point. When the call came to come back down, I got right on a plane from Tampa to Fort Lauderdale. My big sister picked me up at the airport and, though neither one of us was a fan of weed at that time in our lives — me in my late 20s and my sister in her late 30s — we got stoned. I don’t know why. She had weed and we were scared. So we got high and then we got lost in a shopping center parking lot, driving around trying to figure out how to get to a Circle K to buy water. When at last we got to the hospital, my mother’s caregiver — a German woman similar to her in age named Helga — came catapulting at us in the hall. “You girls are selfish,” she spat. My sister huffed. I was embarrassed. (Witch Going to the Sabbath [1957] by Remedios Varo : I love this painting, which was the first Varo that I encountered, and which fit my headspace in 2021, not long after had written these essays.) https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/maybe-he-swings-from-the-chandeliers-two-doors-and-a-window-part-2 monthly 0.5 2022-09-14 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1663136237984-C00HJLVENBWLOPZ8QVYE/PXL_20220914_060653659.MP.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - Maybe He Swings from the Chandeliers (Two Doors and a Window Part 2) - Meryl at my Bat Mitzvah, Harv before my brother's law school graduation some ten years later. https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/j1i0k9j3p02jvxypvwd25ei8d50l1h monthly 0.5 2022-09-14 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1663136750383-18202T6ZKO3OFLVZVE9N/gypsy-and-harlequin-1947.jpg%21Large.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - Dogs Get Mad; People Get Angry (Two Doors and a Window Part 1) - Next April will be 20 years since Meryl died. As I lean toward 50, the fact that I never got to know my mother as an adult is a thing that whispers to me from the cracks in my skin, as my female friends bemoan their mother’s off-base birthday gifts, tossed-off insults, and embarrassing social media posts. I am not an angry person — I was when I was a teen and hormones lit confusing pathways through my system, lighting fireballs aimed at Meryl and her husband, Sid — but in general I am mild, more likely to over-interrogate myself than to shake a fist at the world and all the people in it. But now, when people complain about the mothers, more often than not… I get so mad. Gypsy and harlequin (1947) by Remedios Varo https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/2020/12/congratulations-2020 monthly 0.5 2020-12-31 https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/2019/08/death-of-an-heir-of-sorrows monthly 0.5 2019-08-08 https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/2017/06/lots-of-fancy-striking-letters-from-my-father-part-5 monthly 0.5 2017-06-28 https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/2017/06/show-me-a-man-who-smiles-all-the-time-and-he-should-be-in-an-asylum-letters-from-my-father-part-4 monthly 0.5 2017-06-25 https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/2017/06/for-every-hour-he-spends-with-mankind-he-needs-3-hours-in-his-closet-letters-from-my-father-part-3 monthly 0.5 2017-06-22 https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/2017/06/cromagnum-man-and-do-a-nice-nice monthly 0.5 2017-06-18 https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/2017/06/166 monthly 0.5 2017-06-14 https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/2017/05/thanks-rifampin-adventures-in-temporary-enforced-sobriety-part-9 monthly 0.5 2017-05-13 https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/2017/04/1-yr-l8tr-my-prince-post monthly 0.5 2017-04-23 https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/2016/12/hope-has-gotten-wet monthly 0.5 2022-07-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1658943962096-7MJ61QSXVE748GE3TFML/heart-pattern-first-show-flier.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - Hope Has Gotten Wet https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/2016/12/a-quick-one-since-shes-been-away-adventures-in-temporary-enforced-sobriety-part-8 monthly 0.5 2022-07-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1658943961794-WO69TMVXH4YY8NO1SSC2/J-and-A-holiday-party-12.2016.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - A Quick One Since She's Been Away (Adventures in Temporary Enforced Sobriety Part 8) https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/2016/11/embrace-the-zane-adventures-in-temporary-enforced-sobriety-part-7 monthly 0.5 2022-07-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1658943957898-JMD7JCM3Z5ZDDMCS7PQJ/Janice.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - Embrace the Zane (Adventures in Temporary Enforced Sobriety, Part 7) https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/2016/10/what-i-have-to-work-with-adventures-in-temporary-enforced-sobriety-part-6 monthly 0.5 2022-07-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1658943957597-YFL34QIUW2TUR4V393LL/IMG_20120714_015625.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - What I Have to Work With (Adventures in Temporary Enforced Sobriety, Part 6) https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/2016/10/fasting-forward-adventures-in-temporary-enforced-sobriety-part-5 monthly 0.5 2022-07-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1658943957227-GJMS522F5402X5UNJVUD/NYE-2010_by-NIcola-Searle.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - Fasting Forward (Adventures in Temporary Enforced Sobriety, Part 5) https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/2016/10/there-was-this-tree-part-2-adventures-in-temporary-enforced-sobriety-part-4 monthly 0.5 2022-07-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1658943957703-073LZCUVT6L79J2CLX0N/rob-and-me-2016.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - There Was This Tree, Part 2 (Adventures in Temporary Enforced Sobriety, Part 4) https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/2016/10/there-was-this-tree-part-1-adventures-in-temporary-enforced-sobriety-part-3 monthly 0.5 2016-10-16 https://www.stefaniekalem.com/stefanie-kalem/2016/10/adventures-in-temporary-enforced-sobriety-part-2 monthly 0.5 2022-07-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62e16d820867cd31b662f013/1658943956702-NSWZ0GSTDWSM9E4XXNW9/IMG_0885.jpg "That's Just Somethin' That You Think" - 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